Awesome news!

Devin and I got to spend almost 6 hours with our baby boy today. It was so nice! He's able to be off the oxygen for much longer periods of time, so we just held and held him. His oxygen saturation still drops really low if his airway is in any way bent or twisted (like his chin is down or his head is turned a little too far), or if he's in a deep sleep. I got to try nursing him again. He's pretty bad at it so far, but I'd say there's hope for him yet. He just wears out so easily and can't quite figure out the mechanics of it all. He's still right at 5 lbs. 5 oz., so he hasn't lost any weight since yesterday. Way to go, buddy!

The highlight of our visit, besides all the snuggling, was the visit from the neonatal nurse practitioner who's in charge of his care. She told us he's getting closer to coming home! Yee-haw! The past 4 days have felt like such a long time. She said she can't hear a heart murmur anymore today, which means--cross your fingers--his ductus arteriosus is probably closed, and there probably isn't a coarctation of the aorta! The ductus is the part that "hooks into" the aorta, which is open in utero but closes up within a week after birth. If there were a coarctation, then the baby would get sick in a hurry once the ductus closed up--blue lower extremities and other stuff. She said if he's still doing OK in about 3 days, we can be sure that's not what we're dealing with, which means NO HEART SURGERY!!! I can't begin to tell you the intense relief that news brought us! We went from being told there was a 95% chance he had a coarct while in utero (from 3 distinct signs the cardiologist had seen on the fetal echocardiogram) to now thinking his little ticker's just fine! It could just be major luck, but I'm gonna guess all the prayers that have been offered in behalf of our little boy may just have something to do with it, maybe. So, anyway, looks like our baby needs to be able to be off the oxygen all the time, take most of his feedings from nursing, and have his bilirubin levels stay low enough to not need the bili lights (he's a little jaundiced), to be able to come home. None of this is a very big deal, is it, when compared to heart surgery? NOPE! He could be home by next week! (They might even consider sending him home with the nasogastric tube in, and train us on how to do gavage feedings to supplement the nursing.)We're hoping for sooner, of course. I mean, I'd be a little scared to bring him home right now, because he still feels so fragile, but driving back and forth to Salt Lake (about an hour each way) is already really old. And leaving the big kids at home when I go down there, and leaving him down there when I come home--I hate it! I don't know how people do it who have babies in the NICU for months! I just want things to go back to normal--or at least start our new normal with a special little baby in the house.

I've had several people ask how I'm doing with all of this. I haven't really thought about that a lot, except that there's no time during the day or night when I'm not completely and utterly exhausted. I thought maybe having a quick labor and delivery would mean I wouldn't feel like I was hit by a bus--no such luck! Being exhausted and having surging hormones and worrying non-stop about our baby's health and heart--and then being told I can maybe stop worrying about his heart--and feeling like I can't handle splitting myself between 2 places for even one more day and all the other stuff that's going on inside my brain (including seeing Devin's clothes laid out for an early meeting in the morning, which means I have to get 5 kids up and ready and out the door to school by myself in the morning--a daunting task on a normal day, for sure, but when I'm this tired, it feels totally impossible. So I went and crumpled onto our bed and sobbed when I saw those clothes sitting there, and Devin took pity on me and said maybe he could skip the meeting. Yes, please. Can't dads take a couple weeks off work after a baby's born to help the mom not lose her mind?). So, yeah, all these thoughts lead to some distress. I still try and count my blessings, and remember that this is by far NOT the toughest thing I could be asked to deal with. You know, trying to keep perspective and everything. I'm so tremendously grateful for my parents helping so much, and also Nicole, and friends and neighbors and family visiting and bringing us tons of awesome food and people continuously sending good wishes and letting us know they're thinking about and praying for us. I don't know how I'd handle the emotions if it weren't for all the support--I'd feel alone and let depression take over, I'm sure of it. But, still, the fatigue makes everything feel SO HUGE! I just want to go to sleep for a few days. Actually, with that in mind, I'm headed to bed ASIP--As Soon as I've Pumped. Moooo!

Enjoy a couple photos of some daddy/son bonding time. Good night!

When Mommy's exhausted, Daddy takes a nap. Babies are better than sleeping pills!

Daddy trying to wake the boy up for a feeding.

PS: Still no name. You'd understand if you heard some of the suggestions Devin throws out. UGH! Caboose? Quaidius? I can't even remember half of the ridiculous names he's come up with.